How High Does a Sycamore Grow?

I was brewing some tea one night and sparked the most fascinating thought...at least at the time.  I happened to pull out my favorite Disney princess cup and stared right at Pocahontas.  So immediately I went into song singing Colors of the Wind. I know, great song!

As I was singing, a specific line-one that I was all too familiar with-resonated with me.  "How high does the sycamore grow? If you cut it down you may never know."  And like a lightening bolt it hit me. Don't knock people down because you never know the potential you're squashing.  This is no novel idea, as I'm pretty sure that line was about Pocahontas using a metaphor for herself and her relationship with her father (if you don't know what I'm talking about, watch the movie-it's great).

In all, it reminded me we should continually build people up. Playing off the song... you may never know how much a person can grow if you tear them down. Whether in your own image of them or how you treat them. We were all born as blank canvases with immeasurable potential,  just like the sycamore. This metaphor goes for ourselves as well. Of course don't tear others down, but just as importantly, DON'T TEAR YOURSELF DOWN either.

TAKE ACTION
In every interaction you have with someone, ask yourself: Am I building this person up or tearing them down with my words and actions? Not an easy task, but start small. Maybe there is a specific person in your life that you belittle or get irritated with. Start with them and build from there.

Extra FOOD FOR THOUGHT: What are some ways you tear yourself down?

For A Stranger Who Turned into a Friend

From time to time I'm wise enough to spend a day in solitude, completely unplugged, to be alone with myself and my thoughts. A few weeks ago, the wisdom struck, and I did just that. I went to the park on a nice 75 degree day (Scottsdale in February is good for that), laid out on a blanket and took out my journal. As the sun began to set and the desert cold came upon me, I migrated to a near by restaurant with outdoor, heated seating to continue in my reflection. Then the most amazing thing happened to me.

There was a man sitting alone at the table next to me. The whole time I was sitting there thinking to myself I should say hello. At one point, cause I can't resist listening in on conversations, I noticed his interaction with the waiter. As the waiter left, I took out my headphones and engaged with the man.  In this brief interaction I felt an immediate connection with him, so I invited him to join me. Little did I know, this small offer has changed me.

After some convincing, he joined me. I couldn't even tell you how long we spent engaged in intense, vulnerable conversation. God had answered my prayers. Throughout my conversation with this stranger I was gaining conviction in everything I had just journaled. It was like he was right there reading every word I wrote, being there to affirm me. I was hanging on his every word, as it was exactly what I needed in that exact moment.

Sometimes you encounter a person for only a brief moment who can change everything for you. I was blessed not only to have this one instance, but also make a new long term friend. At the end of our conversation I asked if we could exchange contact info and stay in touch. If I'm being honest, I wasn't even sure there would be another encounter with this person. If that were the case it would be okay because that conversation had that much of an impact on me. However, to my delight, he had reached out for another meet up.

I now have a new friend who was once a stranger to me. Someone who is invested in my success and even feels as if I bring some value to him. This is so special and everything I was searching for in my life. This situation is also the reason I'm writing right now. I had shared my prior blogs with my new friend and he voiced to me that he wanted more.

So, dear friend, here you are.

What I took from this situation is that the unexpected is always around the corner. And of course that God always answers our prayers, even when we least expect it. Everything you seek in life will be given to you as long as you have faith-that's in the bible for sure.

TAKE ACTION:
Don't hesitate to engage with a stranger. After all, every person in your life now was once a stranger. This can be an uncomfortable thing, but don't be afraid to meet new people because they may be the answer to the prayers you are looking for.

Extra FOOD FOR THOUGHT: How are you being this kind of person for others?

What's your name?

Now obviously, I'm not here to sit and ask you to respond to me with what your name is. If you want to, I'd love to know.

Rather, how often are we asking other people this question? You may be thinking, 'well this is weird, am I supposed to randomly walk up to people and ask their name?' Not necessarily, although I'm sure many people may appreciate that.

My point today is a little more focused.

Out at lunch one day, a friend pointed something out to me. She said, "you always do that, it's kind of weird." When I questioned what she was referring to, she answered with "you always say their name."  We were at Paradise Bakery and I said, "thank you, Jennifer" It was on her name tag.

My immediate response was, 'well, yea. It says it on her name badge.' My friend went on to explain that she had noticed that I do this every time we are out to eat and if they aren't wearing a name tag, I ask their name. I then found that a lot of people would notice and comment on that.

And yes, yes I do. I always make an effort to ask those serving me for their name or using their name if they have a name tag. Why? Well after thinking past the "its jut what I do" answer. I found more in my answer.

First rule I learned in business is, people LOVE hearing their name. If you've ever read How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie, you may have also come across this adage.  For years I was a recruiting assistant at Vector Marketing. One thing I learned doing that is to constantly use my applicant's name to build a connection. So yes, part of this was habit, but it is also so much more.

Every interaction you have with a person means something, if not to you, to them. Think about the barista at Starbucks. They spend all day with many people and their drink orders. They know your name. How many people take the time to say 'Thanks, Seth'? Just by using their name you make them feel special and important. Can you imagine if you went all day and no one acknowledged you as the person you are? I would hate that. People appreciate your acknowledgement. Even if you never cross paths again, that can make their day, or even their week.

When you engage with the person serving you and they appreciate it, you'll get better service too. Don't believe me?  I started a conversation at a Chipotle and noticed the employee being extra generous with the portions in my bowl, and we all love extra guac. From time to time the clerk at the gas station I go to everyday gives me a free drink. All because they appreciate the connection I made with them.

Then there are the places you frequent. I frequented a lounge my friend always hung out and always acknowledged my waiter by name. He went on to open his own lounge which I now frequent. Because I had made that connection with him, I'm treated like a VIP. He's always comping my tabs or lowering my charges. I even took the time to know everyone of his employees names, AND REMEMBERED THEM. So every time I go, I say hello and use their name. A lot of them are surprised that I remembered and then smile with excitement. And although they are already good servers, they ALWAYS give me the best service.

And really, how much effort does it take to ask someone their name or use the name they have plastered on their chest? Not much.


TAKE ACTION:
Where ever you go, a coffee shop, restaurant, grocery store, anywhere. Use the other person's name. You'll start to notice most peoples' demeanor will change. They'll smile bigger or be more positive. And in turn so will yours.

Take an extra step: ask how their day is going.

Here's why I just can't...and maybe you can't either...

Life is full of excuses. Or how I like to mask it, "reasons". 

Let me tell you my story. For me it was life changing. To you it may seem like no big deal. 

I had just got home from a business trip late the night before. So naturally I slept in the next morning. Acceptable being a Saturday. I was running through my to do list before needing to be at a prior engagement later that evening. My list kept growing. Unpack, do laundry, check email, catch up on work, do the dishes, and the list went on. 

Then. the thought of going to the gym crossed my mind. It's been a while since I worked out. I was feeling lethargic and low on energy. None of my clothes seemed to fit me well and I really didn't feel good in any of them. Exercise is important for overall health too, so naturally it's a good place to spend my time. 

Those of you who don't know me, I'll find any excuse to not work out. I began to justify not going to the gym that day. My workout process takes too long, I only have a few hours to knock out my to do list, I have to be somewhere soon, I'll have to wash my hair, and on and on I went justifying why I just can't go to the gym. 

Then I stopped myself. I said 'no' to ME. Any workout is better than no workout. My body and mind need this. So I put on my clothes, got in my car, and drove to the gym. 

When I got home, I felt amazing. I didn't accomplish everything on my to do list, but then again, do you ever? There will always be something else to do. Always another thing to add to the list.

There were a few lessons I took from this. 

First, there are important things that shouldn't be put off.  There will always be one thing or another that you will need to do. However, not every single one of those things furthers your life or the value you need. I was creating what I thought were legitimate reasons why I didn't have time to workout when really they were excuses. Eventually all that stuff could get done, but I was putting off important things to do not so important things. 

Second, say 'NO' to your excuses so you can say 'YES' to yourself. Be honest with yourself. This is hard. I go around justifying to make myself feel better about not doing certain things.  You're either saying yes or no to things all the time, so to be able to say yes to important things like going to the gym, by saying no to other things on your to do list. 

Lastly, by no longer accepting excuses from myself, I no longer accepted excuses from others. Professionally, I was able to hold those I worked with more accountable to their actions and results. I didn't realize this until I learned to discipline myself. I was having a hard time holding others accountable because I wasn't holding myself accountable. It was hard to say to someone 'just do it' when I knew deep down, I wasn't. 

So, point being. Question your reasons or 'excuses' and don't let them stop you from doing what is necessary.

TAKE ACTION!

Your Turn: Choose one thing in your life you have put off for one reason or another. And tell yourself NO to your excuse. 

Let's Create More Time...Crazy, but Real.

The phrase "I never have time" phases us all. We are all so busy with everything that we coax ourselves with "busy lives."  Is that really the case? Now, granted there are some of us that have demanding jobs, school, families, extra-curriculars, etc... But do we never have time because fruitful things are being produced, or because we are not truly being time efficient?

Now, I'm not here to "call people out" or complain about how all too often I hear such phrases. Mainly because I am the main culprit of using busyness as a copout.  My goal is to shed light and grain perspective into this paradigm.

Every single person on this planet has an unknown amount of time on it. Regardless of if its 20, 40, or 100 years, each and every day we all have 24 hours. All with 1,440 minutes, 86,400 seconds. So, what do we want to do with that time and what are we doing with that time?

I started to think and dwell on this. I looked to influential leaders and successful entrepreneurs thinking, 'wow they've accomplished so much and are doing massive things'. How do they do it?!
Being ambitious myself and having many projects with my hands in it, I trick myself into that 'I'm so busy' mentality. Then when I look to what others are doing, I wondered, am I really that busy?

Then I realized it. I'm fooling myself. There are a million things that I want to do in my life. Travel, write a book, blog more, create content, build a business, and so much more. I let my busyness hinder me from all of it. It's not the best feeling to realize that as much as you are doing, you feel like you are doing nothing, or at least nothing that truly matters to you.

That was my 'Oh, crap' moment. It hit me like a ton of bricks. WE ALL HAVE THE SAME AMOUNT OF TIME!

So, I want to share some of my personal insights into this and what changes I made to make more of my dreams a reality.  I can take in a million different directions, but today I'm going to chose one. I want to focus on the way we prioritize the things we do instead of the time we spend doing them...that blog will come later.

The first place I needed to start was with what do I actually do with my time that is causing me to be so busy I can't go after more. Work, for one, is very time consuming along with other commitments. We don't have to lie to ourselves about the reality of our commitments.  Sometimes we don't have time because we are overcommitting ourselves to things that don't really matter or make them matter more than they should.

The conclusion I was led to wasn't that I have so much going on that I just don't have the time. Rather, it was that I have time for what I want to make time for.  I could make the time to go to the gym instead of watch a show.  I can reach out to a distant friend for 20 minutes instead of spend too much time in my email or on social media.

Most of us can be more time efficinet than we currently are. I am at a place when I have had the least going on in my life, but I'm in this paradox of "never having enough time".  I allow the things I do have going on to become an excuse not to do things that matter. To me and to others. 

The reality is, I'm lazy with my time. So what am I going to do about it?


TAKE ACTION!

Make a list of all the things you already make time for. Dwell on them. Ask yourself if you are spending too much time in one area. Where can you be more efficient with things so they don't consume your time.

Then, make a list of all the things that you want to make time for. Use a schedule and schedule the time to do those things.

This week. PICK ONE THING. Then, make the time for it.

Take the time to ENGAGE

There are just over 7 BILLION different people in this world.  Each with a story, different personalities, and outlooks on life. So why don't we engage more?  We are constantly surrounded by new people, but how many of us actually take the time to converse with them? Not a passing, "Hi how are you?" But a real conversation with them about the thousands of subjects there are. Books, movies, ideals, aspirations. People are interesting, and so are you!

Instead, we pull out our phones and obsess over how many virtual friends we have. And even worse, WHILE we are with people!

This week, as I was waiting to be picked up at the airport, there was a man standing next to me. He casually mentioned how busy the airport was. At first, I was thought, "Why are you talking to me?" Then, I stopped myself to realize, "wow, this is nice." Instead of trying to find something on my phone to keep me busy, I could be present in the moment with this human being in front of me. A person who traveled just like me and awaits a loved one to pick them up. Someone with a family, a job, and interests.

As human beings, we need to interact with human beings. Not the idea of a human being on social media. The short conversation you have with a passerby is so much more rewarding than following a celebrity on twitter or stalking the pictures of your countless Facebook friends. Don't get me wrong, social media is a great way to stay in touch, but not at the cost of the person in front of you.  To be a person we need to be with other persons.



TAKE ACTION!

What are you afraid of? It can be uncomfortable to just approach a random person and start talking to them. Obviously, I'm not saying you should creepily approach someone.

But here's a challenge: When you are in a public place waiting for something or someone, instead of naturally taking your phone out, say hello to the person sitting or standing next to you. Make a comment about the weather, or the line, or even compliment them. ENGAGE!

EXTRA FOOD FOR THOUGHT: Stop yourself from taking out your phone and engaging in any social media while you are with another person.

GET EXCITED!

To have a fulfilled and happy life you need to stay excited. A lot of times, especially for driven and busy people, we get caught up in the mundane, daily to-dos and operate in auto pilot. This can take a major toll on you psyche. It’s hard to get and stay excited about the same monotonous tasks day in and day out. 

When you’re excited, life is good. Usually, when you get excited about something, no matter how small, you find excitement in all the mundane things of life too. The problem is, after a while, the excitement of a simple thing fades away. That’s not something I look forward to. 

This week, I bought a citruszinger. It’s this water bottle that allows you to create your own citrus infused water. It’s so great. I’ve been drinking cucumber water like crazy. For the past few days, I had so much excitement about this simple thing and life was good.

That’s where the motivation of this topic sprung out of. Now, am I going to be excited for the rest of the year because of this? Most likely not. Maybe it’ll last a week or a month, but it will fade. The cool thing about this state of excitement was that no matter how tolling and busy my week was, I was attacking it head on—with my water bottle at my side. 

I thought to myself, “Wow, I wish I was always this excited!” What does that have to do with you? Maybe nothing. For me, I decided I would commit myself to find something new every week to get excited about. I guess, my word of advice is, GET EXCITED!

TAKE ACTION!  

Find something new to get you excited every week. It doesn’t need to be big. It could be anything. A trip you decide to take, a new book you’re reading, a rare treat, test driving a really cool car, seeing an old friend, a new project or craft. It can be absolutely ANYTHING. I can’t tell you what excites you, but I do challenge you to take time and figure out what that is.